Holy crap we got it!
By we I mean my wife and I. I don't know how anybody gets that on their own.
There are a few youtube videos out there - not a single one shows how they get the alternator out.
Only one of them shows it still in the car, that guy just says it is a bear to get the top one out.
There is one in Spanish where he takes the AC compressor out that makes it look really easy, but the AC lines are not the same as the ones in my car.
Here was the magic. This is a US 1.4L with air conditioning. The AC line is definitely in the way. The only way to get there was to fashion a set of extensions and socket that are the right length to extend out just over the AC line, wend that in there and get a bite on the bolt head, and turn. Sounds easy, right?
What worked was a 13mm deep well and mid length extension. But wait, there's more. Because the bolt is long, and you don't have much room until you hit the firewall. Then you have to come up with another combo that is just long enough to reach past the AC line - 2d round was a 13mm regular socket, a 1 inch extension, and a midlength. Until you hit the firewall. And then the deepwell and the one inch extension....
Then you should be able to rotate the alternator on the bolt clockwise about 45 degrees, which gives you room to use a boxend wrench on the bolt. A million turns later, its out!