i have just bought a 2005 fiat stilo jtd

first............how do i get the deadlocks to work on the alarm fob??
second ........the flashing light on the door doesnt work when i alarm the car???

double press of lock button on fob should deadlock doors I never use it just one press lock for me ..you could try the connector( round type) for wires to door see if that gets light on door flashing just unplug and connect again may be bad connection..does the alarm work correctly otherwise.??

i think the alarm works ok............it lockes the doors and the lights do i have to take the door card off to fit the door light connection?

No main connector is large round type ny door hinges would try that first before going into door card..have you tried getting in car locking with fob and checking alarm activates i.e alarm siren sounds and indicators flash just to make sure alarm functions ..but red light on door should flash even if alarm is not fitted so would check above connector first before taking door card off

there is no alarm sound...............can it be switched off?
still no light on door ..........?

could be you not have alarm fitted although you should still have red LED flash on door panel even if no alarm..to know if alrm is fitted you should have extra option buttons in top centre of cabin interior lights..if it does not flash when locked with remote and you have tried the main door input connector it could well be connector to the led or the led is faulty.that would involve taking door card off..it may be possible to check the connector into door for correct voltages, although I have no knowledge of that or never needed to remove door card, am sure a search of forum will give you advice on removing door card or maybe even in the guides section..is everything else ok on car or be looking at your earth connections which can cause issues..or wait see if other members give more helpfull advice

i only have 3 buttons on roof......its all for the interior lighting

Most late plate Stilo's have double locking, flashing LED on drivers side and the imobiliser, but no alarm as it was an option on later cars as were many other things that were standard in 2001 - 2004.