Sing With Me

Mr Hanky

We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose
And we all know Frosty who's made out of snow
But all of those stories seem kind of... gay
`Cause we all know who brightens up our holiday
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
Small and brown he comes from you
Sit on the toilet here he comes
Squeeze him 'tween your festive buns
A present from down below
Spreading joy with a "Howdy-Ho!"
He's seen the love inside of you
`Cause he's a piece of poo
Sometimes he's nutty
Sometimes he's corny
He can be brown or greenish brown
(Mmmmhmmm!)
But if you eat fiber on Christmas eve
He might come to your town!
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
He loves me, I love you
Therefore, vicariously he loves you!
I can make a Mr. Hankey too! (Pffffft)
Cartman: Well Kyle where is he?
Kyle: Ehh .. He's coming!
Stan: Come on dude, push!
Kyle: Ehhhh... I'm Trying!
Cartman: Wait, wait I can see his head!
Kyle: Here he comes!
[POP!]
Mr. Hankey: Howdy Ho!
I'm Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
Seasons Greetings to all of you!
Let's sing songs and dance and play
Now before I melt away.
Here's a game I like to play
Stick me in your mouth and try to say
Howdy ho ho yum yum yum
Christmas Time has come!
Singers: Sometimes He's runny
Sometimes he's firm
Sometimes he practically water.
Sometimes he hangs off the end of your ass
And wont fall in the toilet
'Cause he's just clinging to your sphincter
And he wont drop off .. and so you shake your ass around
And try to get it to drop in the toilet and finally it does.
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
When Christmas leaves he must leave too.
Flush him down but he's never gone
His smell and his spirit linger on.
Howdy Ho!

Funky Moped

The lights were groovy colours,
The band was playin' slow;
We danced just one dance together,
Then she said [screeching falsetto] "I've gotta go now!"

I brushed away a teardrop
And followed her outside,
Where a long-haired yob on a cycle
Was waitin' to gi' 'er a ride.

I'll never forget that flick she went with,
Tellin' me to better leave town;
But as soon as me moped's front mudguard is fixed,
Gonna find the creep and put him down (down down).

When I get me moped out on the road
I'm gonna ride, ride, ride,
When I get me moped out on the road
I'm gonna ride, ride, ride,
When I get me moped out on the road
Ain't nobody gonna tell me where to go,
No, when I get me moped out on the road
I'm gonna ride, ride, ride, ride, ride (funky moped).

Move, funky moped, move, funky moped,
Move, funky moped, move, funky moped,
Move, move, move, move, move, funky moped, go! (funky moped)

When I'm on me moped, rockin' and a-sockin',
I'll ride, ride, ride,
When I'm on me moped, rockin' and a-sockin',
I'll ride, ride, ride,
When I'm on me moped, rockin' and a-sockin',
Everywhere I go the chicks are movin' and a-groovin',
Wigglin' and a-gigglin', dancin' and a-prancin', beamin'and a-screamin'.

When you see me moped steamin' with funk,
You'd better ride, ride, ride,
When you see me moped, ooh what an 'unk,
You'd better ride, ride, ride,
When you see me moped steamin' with funk,
You know I'm out to burn up every motor scooter punk,
Oh, when you see me moped, you'd better take your piece of junk,
Abd ride, ride, ride, ride, ride (funky moped).

Move, funky moped, move, funky moped,
Move, funky moped, move, funky moped,
Move, move, move, move, move, funky moped, go! (funky moped)

[Spoken] Oh, me mum won't let me mend it in the kitchen. I've gotta fix it in the garden!